Like most people, I do the goal setting and looking back on my achievements around New Year but I also seem to do a lot of self reflection around my birthday. I think it is has something to do with being another year older. While New Year is a chance for new beginnings and new habits, my Birthday brings along a reminder that I am not quite where I want to be in life yet. I bit of slap in the face some times as to the dreams and hopes i have and the distance I still have to go to achieve them.
I hate to utter the words life crisis but the melancholy i approach my impending special day with lately seems to fit in this category. Gone a the times when I looked forward to celebrating another year older and closer to my dream life. Now I seem to understand that I am not looking forward to this special moment as I don't feel like I have achieved enough personally since the last one. I have always had so many ideas and things i wanted to do. Each year I plan to tick off a few or at least continue the journey to making them closer.
Living overseas has always been a big one for me. Each year I try to travel a little and work on a plan to see me earn a living where i can be overseas. The last few years have seen travel to France, UK, Fiji and back to Paris. Each time I go I realise just how much I would love a chance to explore the world as more than just a visitor. Living iN New York or Paris and actually working would be a dream come true. A visit is great but can't imagine saving enough (or earning enough) to take a year off and just be there. Which leaves me with a plan that involves working overseas for a time. To give me a chance to live it and not just see the polished side that you get as a tourist.
There seems so much to reflect on this year. Not about work or other outside things but about me and the person I want to be and the person I have been for the last year. Does anyone else find this happen to them? Does a certain time of the year lead you to reflect about the things you have set for yourself?
For me birthdays are special. A time to be surrounded by those that you love and who love you to celebrate the uniqueness that is solely you. A time to be selfish and let the world spoil you. Last year was the first year I have hidden away and instead of a celebrating in lavish style I let the day pass without much excitement. A wonderful picnic by candlelight on my lounge room floor with my man was a subdued and low key way to mark the occasion. A wonderful way to mark what was a transition space for me.
This year I am no more prepared. With 9 days till my special day I have yet to decide on a plan for the night. My indecision on how to mark the occasion is not helped by that fact that the day after is Good Friday and I am fully prepared for all my friends and wonderful options of restaurants and bars to either be booked or closed. Though I vow to myself to find a great restaurant and book a table and invite my friends. I am sure it will all turn out alright in the end. I envision gold, candles, champagne, friends and lots of laughs. Oh and don't forget cake. The word diet or healthy eating does not exist on your Birthday.
So here is to me, and very Aries out there. Let's make this next year one full of fire, passion and action. The things that make us special.
Happy Birthday month to me.
PS anybody reading who wishes to send me a present the above image full of arm candy is full of great ideas!