One Sparkly Life

Hi all, It's such a great feeling to know that I have a place to to put my thoughts. Whether anyone reads them, or takes them on board, isn't really the point. It's about a safe place to download and share. The good, the bad, the exciting and the ugly. While those close to me will know that the last 12 months have been tough and the last 6 more so, others will probably not have noticed a change in the business as usual version of me.  (aside from a lack of posting anything). Up until recently, I prided myself on that. On projecting that veneer to the world that everything is ok. But honestly inside I am sad. And it made me realise that we put on this veneer, this mask as if being the real version of ourselves would not be liked and accepted. That people would shun us and think less of us for showing our really feelings and our real lives. In this day of social media and the desire to share the best bits of our lives with everyone (those we know and those we don...

Having spent my weekend immersed in Stars Hollow with our favourite mother and daughter duo, I have now rejoined my reality and have had sufficient enough time to digest this next (and possibly last) instalment of my favourite TV family. I, like many others of around a similar age, spent the early 2000s religiously tuning into Gilmore Girls each week to get my fix of the latest caffeinated goings on in Stars Hollow. While Lorelei and Rory were closer in age than my mum and I, we did share a similar synchronicity of our relationships. We too spent plenty of time together shopping and enjoying hanging out. Though it is only now that i have developed a taste for coffee that we too can share this. So it was with excitement that we sat down Friday night to see what the last 9 years had held for our beloved Lorelei and Rory. Would Lorelei and Luke have finally got together? What adventures and accolades would Rory achieve on the Obama campaign trail as she pushed to dizzying ...

And life throws some curveballs and interesting surprises for everyone. No apologies or excuses here, just a tumultuous time recently. Some good, some brilliant and some just down right heartbreaking. After a few false starts (mainly technological - What is going on with the Blogger App??), I felt the urge to write. Not to share anything in particular, but just a need to reacquaint myself with my inner voice and let it run free. So today is just an opening of the heart and mind. A chance to let some of those inner thoughts run free and see what comes out.  It seems that life is always throwing something else at you. Since I last stopped by to share my thoughts ( July last year  can you believe?) the following have happened: I've moved house We began a tough journey (that still isn't complete) I've loved and felt real love I've lost I resigned from my job (recently) I have seen a great friend get married in Italy I have baked (a lot) I have masted the art...

I'm not a writer, but I blog. I'm not an artist, but I create. I'm not a chef, but I bake. I'm not a mother, but I want to be. I'm not a wife, but I am an awesome girlfriend. I'm not an explorer, but I love to travel. I'm not an academic, but I love to learn. I'm not a fashionista, but I love great clothes. I am all of these things and none of them at the same time.  I am more than a label. I have dreams, plans, goals and crazy ideas. I love and am loved. I am the product of my decisions and the blank canvas of my future. I am me and who I choose to be today, tomorrow and next year. I am both complex and simple.  I am on a journey without an end.  I have been inspired and tortured recently  by the concept of who and what am I. I am many different things to many different people. But who am I to me? Who do I want to be? What do I stand for and against? Too big to answer today but I wanted to share.  Who are you? Who do you choose to be today? Xxx

Having made some personal revelations and making a commitment to myself I realised that I have been find inspiration from movies and TV Shows for awhile. It was only today as I reflected on my recent thoughts and journey that my TV and Movie viewing has been telling me something even when I wasn't really aware of it myself. My favourite DVD's that I have been watching lately When I looked deeper into he plots and characters I realised a few things. The Good Wife - Strong lead female character Alicia who develops from the tragedy that was her marriage plastered across the front pages to a powerhouse of her own choosing No Reservations - About cooking and following your passions and opening your heart Burlesque - Escaping your past and following your dreams. Getting back up when it gets tough and believing in yourself. Julie & Julia - Following your passion for cooking and blogging. Having dreams and doing what you can to achieve them, no matter how lo...

It seems that every time I sit down to write an update or post that so much time has past since the last one. How does that happen?? At least I am consistently inconsistent. :) February and March both flew by with me taking on some temporary work alongside looking for a new role. This has seen me work a full week plus find time to write applications and attend many interviews. While friends say I should be positive about the fact that I am getting lots of interviews and many 2nd interviews, I have to admit to it being rather draining to be switched on so often. The constant selling of my skills and trying to read between the lines and figure out what the recruiter/HR team are really looking for is taking its toll on me. Why do people ask such inane questions and how do these really showcase whether I can do the job or not? It's also rather demoralising to come 2nd so many times. I have lost count in the last 8 weeks how many roles I have applied for and how many I have been...

I have had many posts running through my head all month and can't seem to focus long enough to get any of them out and onto the screen. And today I read a blog post by LittleGreyBox on c hasing your dreams and it just clicked with me. There is no deadline and no real life threatening issues that are holding me back from doing the things i really want.  Take this blog for example - There is nothing that says I have to post every day or every week to make this a success. While in my head I know that at least semi regular posts will keep you interested, the truth is that it is my self imposed 'rules' that are making me agitated and anxious. I do lie awake and stress about my lack of posts. I have little notes around my desk on post ideas and a draft post schedule just waiting for me to commit too. So today I realised it's ok. While it would make sense to keep my posts regular and on a particular theme its ok if they aren't. It's my blog, my voice and my own way...

Wow, time flies when you let life get on top of you!! It felt like forever since I put fingers to the keyboard and shared a few thoughts. And logging in today I realise it has been. Where have the last 2 months gone???? Needless to say there are reasons (aren't there always?). A busy and crappy time with work led me down a self destructive path of grumpiness and generally feeling like I was a hopeless case who couldn't do anything right. Have you ever had your faith in yourself so shaken by one person and one incident that you begin to unravel and wonder if every great thing about yourself was just an illusion or worse a delusion? Have you ever sat back after hearing someone's feedback and thought what the hell am I doing? Well I did. Just after coming back from holidays accusations were thrown at me and it rocked me to my core. I started doubting my talents for anything and everything. From my job, my career and my general identity. And it sucked big time. It has taken...

It's coming up to a year since moved house back into an area that I feel more represents who I am, who I want to be and the things in life I like and want. It is also coming up to another Birthday and like almost every year in the last 5 or so years, I ponder a little and spend some time reflecting.  Like most people, I do the goal setting and looking back on my achievements around New Year but I also seem to do a lot of self reflection around my birthday. I think it is has something to do with being another year older. While New Year is a chance for new beginnings and new habits, my Birthday brings along a reminder that I am not quite where I want to be in life yet. I bit of slap in the face some times as to the dreams and hopes i have and the distance I still have to go to achieve them. I hate to utter the words life crisis but the melancholy i approach my impending special day with lately seems to fit in this category. Go...

Apologies for the silence recently. Work seems to have a funny way of taking over and by the time I have gotten home recently the last thing I feel like doing is jumping back on to a computer since that is where I spend my day for work. But this got me thinking and reading about Blogs and why I chose to start this one. Most Blogs sit idle within a few months of being started and according to some study this seems to be due a lack of passion for the topic chosen to blog about. Another interesting fact is that it is said that you should pick a niche, a particular subject that you are passionate about to blog about rather than being a generalist. This way your readers get to know what to expect and those passionate about your particular subject will find you and follow you. While this makes sense to me on one hand, I find my self in a quandary as to what particular thing should I focus on? Should I pick...